Yeah so its been a while, I have had a lot going on, training, work, home, etc. But things may be settling down some. Look for some more updates next week, including a Texans breakdown again on Monday. Hopefully this breakdown will be helicopter / whirly bird free, thank Sage. Have a great weekend everyone, see ya Monday.
Jaxwing
Disappointment is a tough word to use repeatedly, but in the case of the Texans it is not used enough. Constantly hearing about how this is our year, this is when ‘We turn the corner’, quickly becomes ‘Wait till next year’ after a mere 2 games, and no home game yet. Inept quarterbacking for this franchise is the number 1 problem, Mittens Carr was a bust and Schaub looks less durable than Elijah Price from Unbreakable. Here this week’s Schaub scouting report:
· Questionable arm strength, as evident by the Can-of-Corn he threw to Andre Johnson, which after being air born for 10 seconds, was intercepted and returned 100 yards for a touchdown. I wonder if he is confused and is somehow throwing with his non dominant arm, maybe he is really a lefty and is trying to lull the league to sleep waiting to unleash it, at the right time. Look at the picture above, he looks in pain knowing he has to throw it.
· Pocket presence is lacking, he seems never to feel a linebacker or defensive lineman coming to lay the Terry Taylor Five-Arm on him, or a wicked Lariat, he just accepts it and waits for the next concussion, top notch. I mean far be it for me to question a man that wants to re-learn how to tie his shoes someday or enjoy eating soup with a straw. Just move up in the pocket, it doesn’t seem that hard, I can feel when other people are around me without seeing them, I’m no Matt Murdock, but my god, just have a sense, he seriously looks like he is trying to do long division before he throws the ball.
· Leadership, it seems that people are quitting on him. As witnessed by the normally sure handed Andre Johnson, repeatedly dropping balls in that were throw his way, or it may just simply be a case that Andre was amazed that a ball made it out of Schaub’s hands and past the line of scrimmage, I mean I was amazed, I was amazed he left the field on his own power. He has lost his teammates, a change will have to be made to salvage the season, and save Schaub’s role in the NFL as a decent backup.
The state of the Texans is not bright, after beating at the hands of Pittsburgh in week 1, and beating by Hurricane Ike on its stadium, and now another five finger slap from the Titans, I’m not sure where the Texans go from here. Here is a list from Scout.com for the prospects for next year’s draft by position.
Quarterbacks
1. Tim Tebow, Florida (Jr.)
2. Matthew Stafford, Georgia (Jr.)
3. Nate Davis, Ball State (Jr.)
4. Cullen Harper, Clemson
5. Curtis Painter, Purdue
Running Backs
1. Beanie Wells, OSU (Jr.)
2. C.J. Spiller, Clemson (Jr.)
3. Marlon Lucky, Nebraska
4. P.J. Hill, Wisconsin (Jr.)
5. Arian Foster, Tennessee
Wide Receivers
1. D. Heyward-Bey, Mary. (Jr.)
2. Percy Harvin, Florida (Jr.)
3. Brandon Gibson, Wash. St.
4. Brian Robiskie, OSU
5. Greg Carr, Florida State
Tight Ends
1. Cornelius Ingram, Florida
2. Travis Beckum, Wisconsin
3. Brandon Pettigrew, Ok. St.
4. Chase Coffman, Missouri
5. Bear Pascoe, Fresno State
Offensive Tackles
1. Andre Smith, Bama (Jr.)
2. Michael Oher, Ole Miss
3. Ciron Black, LSU (Jr.)
4. Alex Boone, Ohio State
5. Phil Loadholt, Oklahoma
Offensive Guards/Centers
1. Duke Robinson, Oklahoma
2. Herman Johnson, LSU
3. Alex Mack, California
4. Jeremy Perry, Oregon State
5. Cedric Dockery, Texas
Defensive Ends
1. Tyson Jackson, LSU
2. George Selvie, USF (Jr.)
3. Greg Hardy, Ole Miss (Jr.)
4. Greg Middleton, Indiana (Jr.)
5. Michael Johnson, Ga Tech
Defensive Tackles
1. Fili Moala, USC*
2. Sen’Derrick Marks, Aub. (Jr.)
3. Dorrell Scott, Clemson
4. George Hypolite, Colorado
5. Terrance Taylor, Michigan
6. Demonte Bolden, Tenn.
*Moala is still likely to go pro in 2008.
Linebackers
1. Rey Maualuga, USC
2. James Laurinaitis, Ohio State
3. Brian Cushing, USC
4. Marcus Freeman, Ohio State
5. Sean Lee, Penn State
Safeties
1. Taylor Mays, USC (Jr.)
2. Myron Rolle, Fla. State (Jr.)
3. Courtney Greene, Rutgers
4. Michael Hamlin, Clemson
5. Nic Harris, Oklahoma
Cornerbacks
1. Malcolm Jenkins, Ohio State
2. Mike Mickens, Cincinnati
3. Vontae Davis, Illinois (Jr.)
4. Alphonso Smith, Wake Forest
5. Jairus Byrd, Oregon (Jr.)
We know that we will have a high draft pick, we always do sadly, but do we go for a real QB, or a real RB, or just once again pick from Defensive Tackles with questionable football motors or smarts. Or trade down for an Offensive lineman that would have been available later in the draft, just because we are putting our stamp on bad first round picks, like if we don’t sneak in a bad pick here people might think we know what we are doing. I can tell you this, Felix Jones sure is looking good and we easily could have had him. But credit does go out to Steve Slaton for being the first running back for the Texans to make it through a whole game and actually have valve, getting 118 yards and TD. But outside of him, who looked good yesterday, certainly not Kubiak, who had a questionable decision going for it on 4th down in the red zone early in the 3rd quarter when you were down by 12, then prompting the same decision to be made 1 possession later, which would have cut the lead to 6. Instead we got predictable offense, run when 8 are in the box, pass when your QB has a 5th grade arm, bust out some RB screens on 3rd down that you can tell the run before they leave the huddle, I mean is it that hard to mix it up. If you as a fan knows what is coming, image the excitement that a linebacker has when he has seen it on film all week and gets paid to crush people. After 3 weeks of the NFL, it looks like I am officially ready for Ron Artest.
I am finally back on the grid, after what Hurricane Ike did to my city. I am happy to report the family is safe, and happily back at the house enjoying the wonders of electricity. Others are not so lucky, include some of the close families members who have almost gone a week now without power. If you can find some way to help, anything, anyway, do it. Times like these you appreciate the smallest things the most, and hold your family a little tighter. The family was spared any major damage as well, a few fences, which I repaired on Monday, and a roof vent that was blown off that I stuffed with a trash bag and insulation. All in all, it was a trying time, and a learning experience, our family network is something special to witness when in action.
Lessons Learned:
Always have a generator
Always have gas
Always have ice
Always have water
If you can leave town, do it
The destruction could have been worse, or city might have been spared in some ways since the Ike never reached full strength, something to think about for the next time. Hope hurricane will finish up quickly without anymore formations, especially to this area. But most important is that everyone is accounted for, and we all have each over.
I encourage everyone to go and give some blood, there is a shortage right now, and it is the easiest way to help a neighbor.
And for all that was lost on the Galveston, hopefully it will be back and better than ever soon enough, hold strong. We have a reader that was BOI (Born On the Island), something that means a lot to the people that are from there, wish them the best in toughest times, now and in the future.
I will come back later this week or next with something more pleasant to write about, but I wanted to use this entry to let everyone know that we are safe and sound.
Thanks for everyone that helped us, we love you all
Jaxwing
In case you were living under a rock for the past few days, Tom Brady got hurt. The media has shown the video a billion times, so much so that it reminds me of the Zapruder film, back and to the left. Players saying it was a dirty play, Sports blog in a fit because they lost their darling, and most importantly to the post, the fantasy world was rocked to the core.
Last week, I posted our pre season / draft results for each team in the Looze Stoolz league. As usually I will be incorrect, and as usual I will be right on a few points. Not to kick a man when he is down, but poor Steinbrenner, I complemented on his first successful draft in lord knows how many years, and then the rug gets pulled out 9 minutes into the first game of the season, Tom goes down, and so does there dreams. But here is the problem with the pick, I have played Fantasy football for all of about 14 years, I like to think that I know a little, here is what you need to take from the injury - NEVER DRAFT A QUARTERBACK or RECEIVER IN THE FIRST ROUND. It is easier to get a scrub QB to perform that to get a scrub RB to produce. It is time tested, it sucks that it had to happen to Roca and Ash, but if not you, someone else would have taken him in the first round, but I bet Westbrook looks a lot better today than 2 weeks ago (He went immediately after Brady). Someday when I write the best book ever on Fantasy Football, that will be my first sentence.
Other fantasy news, my team sucks, I mean I got my ass torn so bad it looked like a vagina, only backwards. The Coin Purses were embarrassed by LLA to the tune of a 65 point defeat, I think I would have had a hard time beating just 4 of his guys. And to add insult to injury, my ’star’ receiver just went down for 4 to 6 weeks. My god it doesn’t get any worse right for me. Carson Palmer looks like a complete douche bag, getting me only 3 points, 3 points, really, that’s all you can give me against the Ravens, thanks. Tomlinson, gets hurt, nice, Torry Holt gets a dough nut, awesome, and my TE Dallas Clark went out on the first play of the game, sweet. All in all, a complete disaster.
LLA topped Makin Bears for the first high score of the week bonus, and receives 10 bucks. Jelly Dongs, are slowing realizing that VY is a bust, like the rest of us already knew. Raging Willies teased about having the worse score of the week, but ultimately let me have it, danka. The defending champs, Ass Gravy Train, lost on Monday night to the MIke Honcho Experience, thanks to Adrian Peterson’s heroics. And the Beavers open with a loss to the Jelly Dongs, truly anything can happen in Fantasy Football Week 1.
What will week 2 bring, besides me spending 40 bucks on free agents. Time will tell.
Best of luck to everyone this weekend, and best of luck with Hurricane Ike getting ready to pounce. Talk to you guys next week.
Hurricane Ike Turner
Jaxwing
Well we managed to do it, our annual Looze Stoolz Draft, came and went, and by all accounts, another success. Thanks to all who were a part, and I believe we drafted faster this year than any year before, so kudos for that as well. There winners (BW3’s bill statements) and losers (Chris and Aggie Fans), and so it begins, another season, rosters set, and visions of holding up the Olestra Cup in everyone’s head, but like the Highlander, there can only be one. So here are some fun predicts, and tidbits from my view point, of everyone’s roster, as always, I will not pass judgment on my roster for fear of complaints. With that said though, I am happy with my roster and hope they can live up to my expectations. Enjoy your 2008 Looze Stoolz Pre Season Review. FYI all grades will be based on the Stewie System, with the best being 5 Stewies.
Ass Gravy Train (formerly Ass Gravy Army) – The defending champs returned with cup in hand for the draft. Making an early splash in Pre Draft trades, AGT got the best of your commissioner with getting Brandon Jacobs for a 5th round pick, which turned out to be Dallas Clark – ugh!!!!!! Returning 2 keepers, Big Ben and Santonio Holmes, AGT picked Jamal Lewis in the first round and Reggie Wayne on the turn. No complaints here, except Jamal Lewis is not the most dependable back in the league, but had a great rebound season last year. Stellar picks included, McNabb in the late rounds, Calvin Johnson poised to become a star, and Jerricho Cotchery now catching balls that can be thrown deep from Brett Favre. Questionable picks included, Jeremy Shockey just because his injury is still a problem, and Ahman Green because he is an injury anytime he crosses the out of bounds line.
Starting Lineup:
· Ben Roethisberger QB
· Brandon Jacobs RB
· Jamal Lewis RB
· Santonio Holmes WR
· Reggie Wayne WR
· Calvin Johnson FLEX
· Jeremy Shockey TE
· Adam Vinatieri K
· Jaguars DEF
A solid starting squad, and a chance to repeat, will the breaks he got last year happen again for him this year? Or when the injuries start with some of the keys spots, will he have enough on the bench. All in all a solid draft, I will give his lineup and bench:
Batidores Del Castor (BDC) – Sporting the some of the best keepers, Romo and Addai, Todd and BDC didn’t have to do too much in the draft to get high marks. A gift was given to him with the 7th pick of Steven Jackson, who I think went way too low, this guy is a 1,000 / 1,000 guy, if healthy. But that is a big if, and not playing in preseason because of a new contract, is an issue, so I understand the slip in the draft. BDC rebounded last season, after a tough rookie campaign in 2006, now with the taste of the playoffs on his lips, he is ready for the next step, here are some notables from his draft. Great picks included, Owen Daniels the TE of the future in the NFL, Fred Taylor even after his arrest, and Ronald Curry the only person on the Oakland Raiders who scored last season. But it was not all rosy on the BDC draft; here were some lesser picks in my eyes. Kevin ’37 Dicks’ Smith went way too high in my eyes (3rd round), Darren Sproles only because he looked at me said I needed to pick him up at which point I said, ‘No not yet – still too high for me…’ then he takes him about 5 seconds later, thanks for the tip Todd, and possibly Steve Slaton, just because he probably could have gotten him lower and with a better keeper value. With all of that said, BDC boost a pretty good starting lineup, take a pick:
Starting Lineup:
· Tony Homo QB
· Joseph Addai RB
· Steven Jackson RB
· Kevin Smith FLEX
· Donald Driver WR
· Larry Fitzgerald WR
· Owen Daniels TE
· Josh Brown K
· Steelers DEF
Will their destiny be achieved, to go beyond one and out in the playoffs, to taste the sweet taste of victory, to sip from the Olestra Cup, good chance, better than mine. Overall grade:
Little Lebowski Achievers (LLA) – Always the bridesmaid, never the bride. LLA has burst onto the fantasy football scene like Daniel Reid in his hay day, before being clouded with visions of UT, but this is the crucial year, forward means a championship, backwards means out of the playoffs, so it’s a tough haul for Brad and the other LLA members, perfection is the only option. He started his season with a Pre Draft trade, breaking up his mighty QB / WR combo of Brees and Colston, sending Colston to the Coin Purses for Brandon Marshall and what would turn out to be Tim Hightower, after a short delay we were able to find him on the CBS Website, and he is indeed a super-sleeper. So here are some other highlights and lowlights from the LLA draft night. Highlights included, Ocho Cinco the first man to legally get to utter these words in fantasy football, Darren McFadden although some believe he went too high, and Kevin Walter a late rounder that proved to be valuable to teams last year. Questionable calls, well Hightower has to be included since people weren’t aware of him and he used his traded pick for him, Larry Johnson as a first rounder is scary, and maybe Chester Taylor, although I think the pick is fine, I just needed something to end the sentence with. The draft a whole for LLA was easy, he boosted the best of the keepers in my eyes, so it left him little on the NEEDS side of things. Here is how his starting lineup looks.
Starting Lineup:
· Drew Brees QB
· Marion Barber RB
· Larry Johnson RB
· Darren McFadden RB
· Chad Ocho Cinco WR
· Hines Ward WR
· Jason Witten TE
· Mason Crosby K
· Patriots DEF
All in all, this is tough team on paper, Marion Barber is a beast, and could have easily been a top 5 pick in the draft and yet thanks to keeper status cost LLA a 13th round pick, it boggles the mind doesn’t it. I don’t see a step back for this team, in fact I see this. Overall grade:
Makin’ Bears (MB) – OK, this is the man to blame for the zaniest draft ever. Point 1, he changed his keeper at the last minute, so him and I were off to a rocky start, then he goes and does the unthinkable, drafts a WR in the first round, not since the likes of old Randy Moss (Straight Cash Homie) in the purple and white has a WR receiver gone this in one of my drafts, ok so I can deal with that, TO going in the first round, fine, he is a turd and I hate most Cowboys anyway, although he is awesome fantasy wise. But then the unthinkable strikes again, for 3 weeks I had planned on taking Andre Johnson with the last pick of the 2nd round, thinking the whole time that it was stretch to take him that earlier, well little did I know of the Makin Bears drafting strategy, which consisted of 2 WRs in the first 2 picks would be unveiled to my shock and horror. With that said, he has 2 sweet WRs, and I am jealous, but there are problems in his lineup. Highlights of the draft for MB included, DeAngelo Williams really late in the draft, Eddie Royal since that sounds like a pimp’s name, and Ben Watson I guess. Lowlights, he is going to war with Phillip Rivers and Jay Cutler as his QBs, Robert Meachem to sure why, name just stands out, and I have nothing else to type here, so if you are reading it, it is filler. Here is view into his starting lineup.
Starting Lineup:
· Phillip Rivers QB
· Thomas Jones RB
· Selvin Young RB
· Andre Johnson WR
· Terrell Owens WR
· Greg Jennings WR
· Ben Watson TE
· Jeff Reed K
· Vikings DEF
Well I was not very kind above, due to the WR picks, but overall he has a solid lineup. Overall Grade:
Raging Willies (RW) – Connecting remotely, Jimmy, still one of the originals with Daniel of the Looze Stoolz league, entered the draft with a couple of keepers, one of which was a kicker, so behind the eight ball is the only way to describe team. I have used words like stellar and playoffs, and even the word solid for the above teams mentioned, Jimmy will get no such kudos, but here is a list of some of his highlights and lowlights from his internet connection in Dallas. Standouts, Marshawn Lynch who I think will have an incredible season, ummm Peyton I guess, he seems good, and help with the last one guys? Lowlights, the other 13 rosters spots, well that is harsh, but I’m not sure I would have paid for this team. Anyhoo, here is his starting lineup, try not to laugh.
Starting Lineup:
· Peyton Manning QB
· Marshawn Lynch RB
· LenDale White RB
· PLAX WR
· Chris Chambers WR
· Donte Stallworth WR
· Chris Cooley TE
· Stephen Gostkowski K
· Cowboys DEF
Wow, my sides hurt from typing that lineup. Seriously did I just type at starting WR – Chris Chambers and Donte Stallworth, bad ass. Here is the overall grade:
Romosekshualz (RSS) – The original co-owners, Rolo and Tommy came back to show the world how 2 minds are worse than 1, yet again. After an email to tell people that Derrick Anderson was available and he was a top 5 QB, they got no takers and so they bring him back, could be good in the long run for them. Solid keepers made they draft a bit easier, here are some highlights. Best of the crop, Roy Williams and Houshmandzadeh to go along with Braylon Edwards, might be the best 3 WRs on any team. Lowlights, David Garrad, I mean if this a ball control fantasy football league hw would have went higher or more people would have wanted to draft him, instead I’m not sure he would have been draft so they could have picked any other starting QB, also on the list Tony Scheffler I think he was demoted to the bench, someone had to get them so why not the Romos, people I give you Julius Jones. Their starting lineup looks surprising well, take a gander.
Starting Lineup:
· Derek Anderson QB
· Clinton Portis RB
· Michael Turner RB
· Braylon Edwards WR
· TJ Houshmandzadeh WR
· Roy Williams WR
· Tony Gonzalez TE
· Nate Kaeding K
· Buccaneers DEF
With all of that, they are still Rolo and Tommy, aka Romoseshualz, they will find a way to screw it all up. But I have to grade on the team above, so here is the overall grade.
Steinbenner (HNH) – The newest 2 headed monster on the fantasy owners list, as Ashley Lehmann joined forces with the historically bad fantasy owner Warren Roca, and the results are on a wait and see basis. There were pluses (no Dan Marino drafted) but there were some minuses. But the single greatest move for the Steinbenner’s came on a drunken Sunday morning when I received a call to place Ricky Williams on his squad and drop him on the injury list, like a soothsayer, Ricky returns, impresses and earns keeper status for Steinbenner as well as for the Miami Dolphins, maybe they were behind the Ronnie Brown injury last year. Other highlights for this team included, Lee Evans who should have a bounce back year, Aaron Rodgers for just being pleasant with an A-Hole like Favre getting all the headlines this summer, and Chris Perry who I think will be a star once given the chance in Cincinnati. Lowlights, and there were a few, included, Justin Fargas, who is just holding the spot for McFadden like Chester Taylor last year, Bernard Berrian I hate this guy, Reggie Brown, who by all accounts sucks as an NFL player. But let’s look at the starting lineup.
Starting Lineup:
· Tom Brady QB
· Justin Fargas RB
· Laurence Maroney RB
· Ricky Williams RB
· Bernard Berrian WR
· Lee Evans WR
· Antonio Gates TE
· Kris Brown K
· Packers DEF
All I can say is that Ashley had a definitely impact on the Steinbenner team, this is about 40 times better than any team Warren has put to together to date. This is actually a team that might scare you at some point this season; he is no longer in BYE status, kudos guys for an average draft. Overall grade:
The Mike Honcho Experience (MHE) – Let me start off with this statement, we have all had emergencies come up at work and ruin our evening, I can’t imagine it happening on what you look forward to once a year, and with that, the ultimate night for you turns into reading the next morning at see what guys drafted for you, it takes the wind out of your sails I assume and makes your season a little anticlimactic. But truth be told, Ashley the proxy he right in my eyes with the MHE team, and he has nothing to feel bad about. Bring back 3 keepers, one of which was the second best player in the league last year, in Randy Moss, will only help and the draft had some highlights. Notables included, Willis McGahee who if he wasn’t picked right then would have been hard for me to pass up at the next spot, Marvin Harrison to go along with Randy Moss, and a solid handcuff move of Ray Rice for the oft injured McGahee. Lowlights to speak of, maybe Derrick Mason, I could only wish that a possession receiver like him will one day play with David Garrard and bring ultimate fantasy suck, also Javon Walker, who has now dodged 2 bullets. Here is the Mike Honcho Experience’s starting lineup.
Starting Lineup:
· Kurt Warner QB
· Maurice Jones Drew RB
· Adrian Peterson RB
· Willis McGahee RB
· Marvin Harrison WR
· Randy Moss WR
· Kellen Winslow TE
· Robbie Gould K
· Bears DEF
A fantastic lineup for a guy who could not attend the draft, kudos to CG for picking Ashley as a proxy for him, thanks for Ashley for pulling double duty on Tuesday night, a hell of an introduction into the Looze Stoolz league. Also kudos for CG for having the best team name in the league this year. Overall grade:
Vibrating Jelly Dongs (VJD) – Daniel, the elder statesman, some have questioned his ownership skills, people wondering out loud at the draft if ever, indeed won a title in the Looze Stoolz league, and I can valid date the statement with an emphatic YES, as well as making the playoffs another year, so what did the old crafty veteran have in store for us this year. 3 Black QBs for starters, yes the rare trifecta of Vince Young, Jason Campbell, and JaMarcus Russell, the fun part about this, I would like to see their combined stats at the end of this year and see how many QBs throw for more yards than these 3. But with that said, there were some strong parts about his draft, like Rashard Mendenhall late to handcuff with Willie Parker and possibly be a strong keeper next year, Dwayne Bowe who had a solid rookie season for KC last year, and the back of the future in Tennessee – Chris Johnson. Some moves that make people question his involvement in this league, Todd Heap, who does not have a QB on his team, Jamaal Charles, UT love – Catch iT!, and either or all of the 3 black QBs mentioned previously. Here is the starting lineup for the mighty VJDs.
Starting Lineup:
· Vince Young QB
· Willie Parker RB
· Brian Westbrook RB
· Earnest Graham RB
· Anquan Boldin WR
· Wes Welker WR
· Todd Heap TE
· Nick Folk K
· Colts DEF
I definitely think Reid and VJD are back, this is a solid lineup with a chance to make some noise if they get a QB. But right now, no one is probably scared of this team, with that, here is his overall grade. Overall Grade:
Guys thanks again for being a part of this league, this is has and will continue to be a great league, I’m glad to have started it and heading into our 7th season, as the excitement builds for tonight. We actually have a waiting list for people that want to be in our league, and that is pretty smooth. If only I could find a way to charge you suckers. Later guys - EB
To my regular readers, you have been invaded by the power of the Looze Stoolz Fantasy Football League
Jaxwing
So I am backing away from the Kindergarten diatribes I have been spewing all week. Let’s focus on something fun, like the new fall TV schedules. I am a huge TV buff, and I have real problems going into the fall season, not because of the lack of shows, but because of the amount of shows and lack on space on the DVR (never teach you son how to record shows). So I will try to address each day, with the highlights for me and something that I like about the returning shows, or what I am interested in a new show. We will start with Sunday and work our way through to the dismal Friday and Saturday schedules. Off we go
Sunday – typical a day when I DVR quite a bit, since we are away from the house, or I am consumed by Football, and it’s no secret about my football addiction. Hothairdresser and I have an agreement, this 17 Sundays are mine, when there is a bye week, we will act accordingly, but for the most part she is a top notch wife, and allows me this addiction. So let’s start it off. (All times listed in Central, because the Central time zone rules)
6:00 pm: Football Night in America and Sunday Night Football – This will consume most of my evening, since I usually have fantasy players playing, and I am usually up by a few or down by a few. It’s nerve wracking, and leaves me sleepy eyed in the morning. But nonetheless, this is the must see event on Sunday nights for me. And nothing looks better than Football in HD, period.
7:00 pm: Amazing Race – Now this comes with the caveat, that the contestants must be good; there must be a good team, a bad team, an evil team, and an annoying team. Last season I faded on this for a number of reasons, the most being that the CBS game at 3 always runs late, which then pushes 60 minutes to go into my recorded time slot for this program, so I would get about a half an episode every week, and never got to see who got kicked off. That is a real problem, plus looking at the 60 minutes crew in fast forward was so painful, it’s like they were sucking the life out of my brain in 300x.
9:00 pm: Entourage – Ok, this might be my favorite show on the schedule this fall, but I cancelled my HBO subscription following the end of Sopranos last season, but it was a sweet move, got rid of HBO, increased my channels by 100, and only paid 2 bucks more, it will go down in the history for me as the time I got over on the man. Anyhoo, Entourage, picks up where last season left off I assume, with the premiere of the disappointing Medellin, and what Vince will have to do to get his career back on track, and what it will all mean with his relationship with Ari, and E. Man, I am pumped, love this show, if you haven’t seen it, it’s a series that follows a hot Hollywood actor and his 3 frie3nds out in Hollywood, the ins and outs of the business, and with a hilarious agent, Ari, played by Jeremy Piven. Go buy the DVDs, like now, stop reading. But in order for me to watch this season, I will have to go the download route, which could pose a problem.
9:00 pm: Californication – This was my favorite new show last season, maybe, pretty close if not, because I might say later on in this article, this is my favorite new show of last season, so I am covering all bases. Show revolves around Hank Moody, a self destructive novelist, who is trying to raise a 13 year old daughter with his former ex-girlfriend, all the while, drink, humping, and doing drugs throughout Hollywood. Great show, great cast, ready to see what season 2 will bring. We left off with Hank, his ex girlfriend, and daughter escaping, running from his ex-girlfriends fiancée, leaving him at the altar. Checking out season, the DVD hits stores this week I believe. It’s a very ADULT comedy, complete with nudity throughout each episode, and the nudity would be the easiest part to hide.
9:00 pm: MadMen – OK, this is my favorite show from last season, I will be saying this a lot so get used to it. The season has already started, and I am already behind, but it is brilliant. It’s set in the 1960’s, advertizing agency on Madison Ave., hence the name MadMen. Its style is unlike anything else on television. And if you want to see how far HBO has fallen off since Sopranos left, look no further than here, they passed on this series, and many others, someone needs to get control over HBO quickly. This show would have been perfect on there Sunday lineup, instead, it was picked up by AMC, not sure if you have that channel or not, if not pick up season 1 DVD that came out a few weeks ago. It is up from something like 16 Emmy’s for various performances from last season.
That wraps up Sunday, a few other notables, Family Guy, American Dad, the Unit, and Dexter, with Dexter being the best of the bunch, I have watched about half of season 1 of Dexter, I look to complete that season somewhere in 2010.
Monday – This is one tough night on the DVR also. Bunched up are returning favorites, 4 of which battle at the same time slot. And let me get this straight right off the bat, I am heterosexual, and Dancing with Stars will make the list, this is a family favorite at the house, and this show more than others, clogs the DVR like you would not believe, especially earlier in the season when it is on 3 nights a week, that an American Idol are show that are not missed at our house, simply because it involves all 3 of us, and we get to enjoy it together. Without further ado, I give you Monday Night.
7:00 pm: Dancing with the Stars – Ok, I mentioned it previously, and right now there are a group of guys reading this, laughing, snickering, and probably re-posting this somewhere with a picture of me photoshopped humping Clay Akin, but nonetheless, I will stick by my guns and continue to watch the show. It is cheese entertainment, something that lightens the mood around the Boyd house, a reason for my son to jump up and randomly dance in his underwear. You know the show, you have seen it, no need in explaining it further.
7:00 pm: Chuck – Here we go again, one of my favorite new shows from last season. Chuck is a geek, like me, he likes crappy movies, gets excited about video game releases, and daydreams. He, unlike me, has had an email of top secret government secrets subliminally placed into his brain that fires off when he comes into contact with something or someone that is on the list. He has 2 agents that protect him, one a hot female, the other a stick in the ass male, played perfectly by Adam Baldwin, you know him best from Firefly or My Bodyguard, take your pick. Chuck works at a Buy More, it’s like Best Buy, and all the secrets of the world are in his hands, and it is delightful television viewing with great pop culture references, and great movie studio action.
7:00 pm: Terminator- The Sarah Connor Chronicles – So as much as I enjoyed this show last season, something has to give in this time slot, and I think Terminator will have to go. It will fall into the download category, where TV shows go to die on my PC. It sucks, but what is a man to do, too many on one night, and we still have 3 or 4 to go. So I won’t talk about this show, you can probably guess from the title what it is about if you are a fan of the movies.
7:30 pm: How I Met Your Mother – Oh boy, here is the dilemma, Wife’s favorite show, on during the time when Chuck is recording, again Wife’s favorite show, I hog just about every other night on television, plus the 17 week Sunday football schedule, this show will be DVR’ed, I have no choice, which means Chuck gets moved to the land of downloads, sucks. But Barney, Ted, Lilly, and friends is too good to pass up on. Plus who knows when Robin Sparkles will make another appearance.
8:00 pm: Heroes – Geek Boner Alert! Finally after what seemed to a like a 20 year hiatus (actually 1 year) the show on all of the nerd’s list is back, and I can’t watch. The direction of the new season seems to point towards the Villains and how the Heroes will have to go out and get them or possible work with other Heroes to capture the ultimate baddie, Syler. Show has been around for 2 seasons but the episodes have been so far in between that it seems like we have only had one season, thank you writer’s strike, f-ing a-holes. How will Hiro and the rest of our favorites recapture the glory of season 1, no clue, but the webisodes and trailers have been perfect, and have built back up the fan base. Must watch!
8:30 pm: Worst Week – Ah the first new show to make the list, the only reason why, is because the commercials crack me up. The premise of the show is on Sam Briggs, who will do anything to please his girlfriend’s parents, but instead becomes a complete bumbling boob in front of them. The last commercial I saw had the main character Sam, faced with the dilemma of needing to turn the television station, but the remote lied directly in his father-in-law’s crotch. He goes for it of course, and the father-in-law (played by the dad from That 70’s Show, Kurtwood Smith) wakes up immediately and asks him what he is doing, high comedy, can it work from a full show, not sure but I will try it out for a bit.
9:00 pm: My Own Worst Enemy – Ah yeah, after years of exile Christian Slater returns to our lives, rejoice. My Own Worst Enemy is a new series with him, where he plays Henry Spivey, a middle class family man in the suburbs, and Edward Albright a CIA operative that is trained to kill anything and everything. Yes you read that right, he has a split personality, and I’m sure hijinx will ensue once he figures out who is who, or what is what, or Henry versus Edward. Not sure how good the show will be, but I see fighting, hot chicks, things exploding, and the guy who was in the Kuffs. Which for the record, I would have rather seen made into a television show. Maybe I will just pop in my Kuffs DVD instead of watching this on Mondays.
I don’t think I left out any shows on Monday, it’s a crowded schedule, oh but wait, I did. MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL, yes I almost forgot, those last minute fantasy guys that can make or break your season. Also on Monday, Gossip Girl, which I have never seen, but heard it is quite good. Wow, and Mondays are suppose to be hated, not on my DVR.
Tuesday – Here is where we start to get some breaks in the crowded schedule. Maybe a chance to catch up on some shows from Monday night, but actually there are some titles to stand up and take notice of, and number 1 on my list.
9:00 pm: The Shield; The Final Act – That’s right people, one of the best shows of all time is entering its last season. Sad yes, but they may be getting out while the getting is good, and earlier reviews have this season being one of the best. Vic Mackey is, and has been, one of the best, most complex characters to ever grace the television, and seeing a conclusion to his and Shane’s epic battle may be a television gold. If you are late to party, pick up all 6 seasons of the DVD, watch them back to back until you can’t see straight and then sit back and enjoy the final season, starts next Tuesday.
7:00 pm: 90210 – Is it possible to call this a new show, or a old remake, or something in between, either way I was a big fan of the original, so I will give this a shot, even if it is for only one week. Brenda, we have missed you oh so much, now if we can find room for Valeria the world will be perfect again. That and some drastically cut gas prices to reflect when the show used to be on.
8:00 pm: Fringe – Anything in my eyes that JJ Abrams touches is gold. So when I read about a new series from him, I simply had to say yes. Here is a write up about the show from IGN website.
From J.J. Abrams, Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman, comes a new drama that will thrill, terrify and explore the blurring line between science fiction and reality. When an international flight lands at Boston’s Logan Airport and the passengers and crew have all died grisly deaths, FBI Special Agent Olivia Dunham (Anna Torv) is called in to investigate. After her partner, Special Agent John Scott (Mark Valley), is nearly killed during the investigation, a desperate Olivia searches frantically for someone to help, leading her to DR. Walter Bishop (John Noble), our generation’s Einstein. There’s only one catch: he’s been institutionalized for the last 20 years, and the only way to question him requires pulling his estranged son Peter (Joshua Jackson) in to help.
Not sure if that did anything for you, but I will check it out and let you know later in the season, plus Paisey is in it.
7:00 pm: Biggest Loser – Another family favorite around the house, and quite a motivating program. Watching people lose weight nearly makes you want to get up and lose weight as well. Jax for whatever reason loves this show, yet he has not an ounce of fat on his body.
That wraps up Tuesday nights lineup, like I said, a little more lite than Monday’s action packed schedule. Moving on.
Wednesday – OK, something new, something old on this night as well, I am concerned about one of my favorites shows though, as it states it will be shown on channel 101, perplexing, more on that in a bit.
7:00 pm: Pushing Daisies – Started watching this show last season because a friend of mine is an extra/character on the show. The show is about a guy who with one touch awakens the dead, but with a second touch put them back to permanent sleep. Also he makes incredible pies, and does odd jobs for a PI, and has a girlfriend whom he awaken after her death, so he can not touch her or enjoy the fruits of a relationship if you know what I mean. It’s a strange, quirky show, and I didn’t follow it too much last season, but I am willing to give it another shot.
7:00 pm: Knight Rider – After a successful re-launch movie last year, NBC has brought back the show as a weekly series. Now there were plenty, and I mean plenty of problems with the re-launch show, so the jury is still out on how the ‘new’ series will be. But the car is cool. Hassellhoff will need to be involved if they want me around.
7:30 pm: Gary Unmarried – Jay Mohr, nuff said
9:00 pm: Sons of Anarcy – A new FX series, about a biker gang, where do I sign up. As The Shield sunsets, FX looks to produce another successful show, this time about a gun running biker gang in the town of Charming, California. I will tune in.
8:00 pm: Friday Night Lights – OK, this has been my favorite show for the last 2 seasons; my wife has even grown to love this program thanks to Riggins. But on a channel called The 101???? I assume this is the deal they worked out with Direct TV to keep the acclaim but seldom viewed television series about middle town Texas and there football teams highs and lows. Great show, catch it if you have Direct TV, I will have to download and give my wife a little private time with Riggins.
Wednesday night is a wrap, moving on to the once great Thursday night.
Thursday – The once mighty Thursday night, must see lineup is back, even if it stretches across multiple networks.
7:00 pm: My Name is Earl – After rocky 3rd season, Earl is back. This time is hopefully out a jail for good, and possible married or unmarried, either way, this is the last hope for this once promising show. Season 1 was so good, and it has been downhill ever since, I am a huge Jason Lee fan, hell I wanted to name Jax, Brody Bruce Boyd, after his beloved character on Mallrats, but last season was a waste, they need something good to start very quickly this season.
7:30 pm: Kath and Kim – New comedy from Australia that stars Molly Shannon and Selma Blair. Recently this show has been lampooned because some believe it doesn’t do the original show justice, but I say screw that, these same fools said the Office would never work and was a disgrace to their beloved Ricky Gervis. So FU critics, I will give this a shot and decide on my own.
8:00 pm: The Office – Now long time followers of this site, know what the Office means to me. The title of this website comes from the show itself; so needless to say, I cannot wait for its glorious return. Michael, Jim, Dwight, Jan, Stanley, Oscar, Pam and the rest of the crew return to reclaim their title of best comedy on television.
8:30 pm: 30 Rock – The second best comedy on television is finally back as well. And let’s hope they pull it in a little tighter this season than last. They had slipped a little towards the end. But even if it is off pace, it’s still better than almost every other show out there, so suck it. Comedy Night, Done Right indeed.
7:00 pm: Smallville – Talk about slipping, this show is on life support. And they just lost the best villain the show had to offer, when Lex Luthor decided not to sign back on for this 8th season. You know what the show is missing, Superman F-ing flying people, I’m tired of seeing him run really fast, save that crap for The Flash TV show. Oh yeah, and get I think they lost Lana as well, which is good and bad, good because her character had become suck, and bad because she is one of the hottest women on television. So here’s to the Superman, RIP
9:00 pm: It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia – This is best comedy, you are not watching. I can’t even come up with a write up about this show’s awesomeness, simply go buy all the DVDs, and watch them, it is the most outrageous show on television, and Green Man needs to been seen to believe.
8:00 pm: Grey’s Anatomy – Ok, you are probably thinking I am a complete queer again, but truth be told, this show is perfect dramacheese (I just made that word up). It blends a little of everything for a couple to enjoy while watching together. And part of my son’s name comes from my wife’s love of this show, Greyson. Yes, the show is not for everyone, but when it is good, it is really good, like season 2 of ER good, when it is bad, its season whatever they are on now of ER.
Wow, Thursday will be bumping, add in the occasional Thursday night football game, Ugly Betty, and Survivor, and you got yourself another DVR dilemma. Enjoy people, we are almost finished
Friday night – There is not one show that I care to watch on Friday night, simple as that, not one, here is the rundown; Crusoe – No, Are you smarter… Yes, because I will not watch, so No, Wife Swap… only if it was on Cinemax, 20/20.. are you kidding me, this crap is still on, oh wait, Amercia’s Toughest Jobs, now this show was on Monday night this week, so if they are moving it to Friday, then I guess I will have something on the recorded, so victory for NBC on the Friday Night Suckage.
Saturday – even worse than Friday, that should be what they call the programming. Only thing to watch, Saturday Night College Football. That is it people, go out and do stuff on Saturday night, and don’t worry about what is on, that is what the networks are telling you with this lineup; Misc. Series Repeats on CBS, Cops on FOX, Dateline on NBC, My Saturday Night Movie on My Network TV, and some show on BBCAM that involves a dinosaur I believe, here is picture.
![clip_image001[1]](http://runouttheclocksituation.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/clip-image0011.jpg)
I’m done people, this is the longest post in a while, and my hands are toast, I have to get them in game shape for Tiger Woods 09 tomorrow.
Later (total number of words in this post – 3,599)
Jaxwing (3,600)
All the worrying from yesterday was for nothing, he was completely happy and had a great day. Won a prize from the teacher for being the best listener, and even finished all of his lunch. So you can image my excitement for the new day. Ah crap, more of the same, crying in his breakfast, grabbing and clutching his mother before ultimately leaving with me in the truck. Once in the truck, more tears and the hysteria of getting out of the truck, topped off with a wave goodbye and tears pouring down his face, a lasting image for his father to take with him the rest of the day. So here we are the same spot as yesterday, worried, wondering, and hoping for the best result when I call at 3:30 today.
This shit sucks, and I wish we could fast forward to when he is happy to go to school, and excited to see his friends. But for now, we will keep talking about the positives each night, and explaining everything again each morning, until there are no more tears. Driving away in horror is not how I want to start the day, and I’m sure it’s not how he wants to start his day, it’s just impossible for him to relax, and calm his nerves right now, and it makes sense, big new world, strangers, and all the while you have to do it without any assistance. I guess it’s a good thing I can’t remember my kindergarten years.
Meanwhile, stress over the situations has caused all of the following to my body:
headaches, acid reflux, heartburn, nightmares, insomnia, some kind of eye socket pain, nervousness, over-eating, and permanent scaring in my brain of my son crying and possibly hating me forever as I usher him out of the truck at 8 in the morning.
Man this site used to have happier times, now it is sounding like a Cure song
Sorry for all of you that miss those better days here, with pictures of crack heads and links to non-news of the day.
Jaxwing
Not so much, I thought Day 2 of Kindergarten would be easier for Jax and myself, but I was incorrect on many levels. First off, last night, everything seemed fine, he seemed excited about his day, then as night closed in and the reality of tomorrow, tears began to flow. Finally after a good night’s sleep he arose with the hesitation and nervousness as the day before. Nothing starts the morning off worse than watching a 5 year old cry in a blow of cereal. Finally out the door we begin our trek to school, this is where the mistakes begin to pile up for me. A 10 minute walk to school is plenty of time for a 5 year old to make you feel miserable. He cried the whole walk, pleaded, begged, and then finally succumbed to the moment, and entered his 2nd day of school, tears in his eyes and a stranger helping him. I was devastated. My 5 minute walk back seems like hours, as I thought of all the things that must be running through his head as he sits at his table. As the day as moved on, time has not been kind, I keep checking the clock, wondering about him, hoping for the best. And thinking of ways to improve tomorrow.
Tomorrow, we will attempt car pool line, might be easier if we cut the cord quicker, rather than the 10 minute pulling of the Band-Aid that was the walk to school this morning. He should be home soon, and I will be calling like crazy in about 20 minutes to talk with him.
Poor Little Man
Jaxwing
Well it has happened, school has started, Day 1 in fact, and my son is currently sitting with strangers for the first. He reacted as most kids probably did today, Fear, Nervous, Tears, and probably Rage. There has not been a more difficult task for me then taking him to Kindergarten for the first time, if I had those feelings, his must have been amplified times 10. But he is a trooper and I’m sure he turned it off as quickly as he turned it on, it was just a horrifying experience nonetheless. 4 Teachers crowded around him, trying to calm him down as his mother, father, and baby brother walk away holding back tears. It should be interesting when I get home this evening, I may have to sleep with my eyes open for fear of what he might do to me in my sleep. But he looked great, looked the part, backpack, lunchbox, snack, new shirt, shoes, and pants, and an awesome belt to go with it all. He was excited, but let his mind control the rest once the reality of the moment sat in. But he was not alone, kids everywhere were crying.
But my morning did not end there, for I too was going back to school, well not school - school, but training, or so I thought. Upon my arrival to training campus, and asked what class I was there for, I immediately sensed problems. ‘Oh, ok , sir, if you could, please follow me, and Whatever her name is, will explain everything to you’. Turns out, that the class was a hoax or something, and error in the scheduling, not my fault, or my company’s fault, but something that has happened since the training company was merged with another. AKA, Tough Luck Eric. So I was glad that I had pants on, since I thought about wearing shorts to my class, but at the last minute decided differently, just in case something happened. Well that something definitely happened, and I proceeded to work instead.
I will update tomorrow on the first day of kindergarten. I have purchased a coloring book of Batman, and a Star Wars toys to heal any wounds from today. Hopefully that will work.
Bonus - Guess the song that the title of this post is from.
Later
Jaxwing
This weekend, I was excited to get away and enjoy the weekend with hothairdresser. We got off tot he great start, drinks, food, friends, and someone got the kids, nice. We stayed downtown at hotel Icon, its good to know people, I know no one, but hothairdresser has all kinds of friends and colleagues, and one set us up at the hotel for a very discounted rate, and I thank her. On top of that, Nine Inch Nails was staying at the hotel with us, my mind raced at the thoughts of being face to face with Trent Reznor and having to act like I wasn’t a fan, when inside I would be peeing myself. Anyhoo, after dropping off the bags and heading out tot he concert, the fun began. Basically it went like this, no cabs were showing up to drive us to the stadium, so we made one bad - bad decision, we took the Light Rail. Now, I love my city, but I know we have problems, I’m well aware what is walking around downtown, and I am well aware of public transportation in general, but we wanted to get to the concert, and this was the only way.
I’m sure you have made a decision and about 10 seconds into, you see it as the worse possible decision, well here it goes, those 10 seconds for me, or at least what first felt like 10 seconds, aged me by about 6 years. Walked up to the ramp, boarding area, purchased 2 tickets, 2 dollars, great, that would save us at least 20 bucks to spend on beers at the stadium. After the tickets were printed, I turned and was greeted by a homeless man who told me the south bound train is busted, you had to catch the north bound going south and then exit, and get on a working south bound train. Now the previous sentence you just read, had no typos, and yes it does sound like some crazy geometry / word problem from math class. I thanked the man, grab hothairdresser moved her quickly on, for fear of prison style weapons being pulled on me and me in turn having to sell her.
Once we make it to station where we need to catch the south bound to get to the real south bound train, the fun escalated. First off, more homeless people, this time more forceful with the requests for change, I brush them aside, then handicapped people, no worries, I will move faster than them so I was guaranteed a spot, and then the rare combination of the 2 with a gender problem. Yes, indeed, a disable, homeless, transvestite, the trifecta. I didn’t think it was possible to see all 3 in one person again, since my last time I have ever purchased anything from Wendy’s, but is a story for another time. Let’s just say it involved a rogue fry, pressed between 2 fingers, then handed to me.
Finally, the train is arriving, me being one of the smartest people waiting for the train, I position myself and hothairdresser for the arrival and where I think the doors will open up. Yahtzee!!! A perfect plan, as hothairdresser and myself make it on the rail and a seat to boot! Others don’t have the same luck, lots of people standing, some arguing, some pushing, and others getting injured, I love H-Town. Another stop, more people, more pushing, we are at capacity. Next stop, more people, at this point, I have started to use my blackberry to type up my last Will and Testament. Train takes off again, some lady falls, onto another girl, who recently had surgery, she begins to weep, I too weep, but not for her, for all the brain cells I must have lost over the years that ultimately helped me produce such a horrible plan of attack. I said I was the smartest person taking the train, well at some point that becomes the equivalent to being a manager of McDonald’s, yes you are in charge, but you are in charge of McDonald’s, they don’t really make a hallmark card for that. Congrats for not being the worst person at work, here you get to be the manager of this other people whom may or may not be missing some chromosomes.
Finally, after what seems to be four scores, we arrive at the stadium, ready for the concert, some people happy, some relieved, and some like me, wondering if I was being video tapped for some reality show. IN closing, the rest of the night was aces, concert was great, Gary Allan is the man, and 10 bucks a beer is as crazy as it sounds. But all in all, we had a get away night, and that is all 2 tired parents can ask for, thanks to all the babysitters out there. And thanks to Mayor White for having such an awesome public transportation option, you will have a greater appreciation for the cab driver after one trip on that train. But at least we didn’t hit anyone.
Jaxwing
