RunOutTheClockSituation.com

Disappointment is a tough word to use repeatedly, but in the case of the Texans it is not used enough. Constantly hearing about how this is our year, this is when ‘We turn the corner’, quickly becomes ‘Wait till next year’ after a mere 2 games, and no home game yet. Inept quarterbacking for this franchise is the number 1 problem, Mittens Carr was a bust and Schaub looks less durable than Elijah Price from Unbreakable. Here this week’s Schaub scouting report:

· Questionable arm strength, as evident by the Can-of-Corn he threw to Andre Johnson, which after being air born for 10 seconds, was intercepted and returned 100 yards for a touchdown. I wonder if he is confused and is somehow throwing with his non dominant arm, maybe he is really a lefty and is trying to lull the league to sleep waiting to unleash it, at the right time. Look at the picture above, he looks in pain knowing he has to throw it.

· Pocket presence is lacking, he seems never to feel a linebacker or defensive lineman coming to lay the Terry Taylor Five-Arm on him, or a wicked Lariat, he just accepts it and waits for the next concussion, top notch. I mean far be it for me to question a man that wants to re-learn how to tie his shoes someday or enjoy eating soup with a straw. Just move up in the pocket, it doesn’t seem that hard, I can feel when other people are around me without seeing them, I’m no Matt Murdock, but my god, just have a sense, he seriously looks like he is trying to do long division before he throws the ball.

· Leadership, it seems that people are quitting on him. As witnessed by the normally sure handed Andre Johnson, repeatedly dropping balls in that were throw his way, or it may just simply be a case that Andre was amazed that a ball made it out of Schaub’s hands and past the line of scrimmage, I mean I was amazed, I was amazed he left the field on his own power. He has lost his teammates, a change will have to be made to salvage the season, and save Schaub’s role in the NFL as a decent backup.

The state of the Texans is not bright, after beating at the hands of Pittsburgh in week 1, and beating by Hurricane Ike on its stadium, and now another five finger slap from the Titans, I’m not sure where the Texans go from here. Here is a list from Scout.com for the prospects for next year’s draft by position.

Quarterbacks
1. Tim Tebow, Florida (Jr.)
2. Matthew Stafford, Georgia (Jr.)
3. Nate Davis, Ball State (Jr.)
4. Cullen Harper, Clemson
5. Curtis Painter, Purdue
Running Backs
1. Beanie Wells, OSU (Jr.)
2. C.J. Spiller, Clemson (Jr.)
3. Marlon Lucky, Nebraska
4. P.J. Hill, Wisconsin (Jr.)
5. Arian Foster, Tennessee
Wide Receivers
1. D. Heyward-Bey, Mary. (Jr.)
2. Percy Harvin, Florida (Jr.)
3. Brandon Gibson, Wash. St.
4. Brian Robiskie, OSU
5. Greg Carr, Florida State
Tight Ends
1. Cornelius Ingram, Florida
2. Travis Beckum, Wisconsin
3. Brandon Pettigrew, Ok. St.
4. Chase Coffman, Missouri
5. Bear Pascoe, Fresno State
Offensive Tackles
1. Andre Smith, Bama (Jr.)
2. Michael Oher, Ole Miss
3. Ciron Black, LSU (Jr.)
4. Alex Boone, Ohio State
5. Phil Loadholt, Oklahoma
Offensive Guards/Centers
1. Duke Robinson, Oklahoma
2. Herman Johnson, LSU
3. Alex Mack, California
4. Jeremy Perry, Oregon State
5. Cedric Dockery, Texas
Defensive Ends
1. Tyson Jackson, LSU
2. George Selvie, USF (Jr.)
3. Greg Hardy, Ole Miss (Jr.)
4. Greg Middleton, Indiana (Jr.)
5. Michael Johnson, Ga Tech
Defensive Tackles
1. Fili Moala, USC*
2. Sen’Derrick Marks, Aub. (Jr.)
3. Dorrell Scott, Clemson
4. George Hypolite, Colorado
5. Terrance Taylor, Michigan
6. Demonte Bolden, Tenn.
*Moala is still likely to go pro in 2008.
Linebackers
1. Rey Maualuga, USC
2. James Laurinaitis, Ohio State
3. Brian Cushing, USC
4. Marcus Freeman, Ohio State
5. Sean Lee, Penn State
Safeties
1. Taylor Mays, USC (Jr.)
2. Myron Rolle, Fla. State (Jr.)
3. Courtney Greene, Rutgers
4. Michael Hamlin, Clemson
5. Nic Harris, Oklahoma
Cornerbacks
1. Malcolm Jenkins, Ohio State
2. Mike Mickens, Cincinnati
3. Vontae Davis, Illinois (Jr.)
4. Alphonso Smith, Wake Forest
5. Jairus Byrd, Oregon (Jr.)

We know that we will have a high draft pick, we always do sadly, but do we go for a real QB, or a real RB, or just once again pick from Defensive Tackles with questionable football motors or smarts. Or trade down for an Offensive lineman that would have been available later in the draft, just because we are putting our stamp on bad first round picks, like if we don’t sneak in a bad pick here people might think we know what we are doing. I can tell you this, Felix Jones sure is looking good and we easily could have had him. But credit does go out to Steve Slaton for being the first running back for the Texans to make it through a whole game and actually have valve, getting 118 yards and TD. But outside of him, who looked good yesterday, certainly not Kubiak, who had a questionable decision going for it on 4^th down in the red zone early in the 3^rd quarter when you were down by 12, then prompting the same decision to be made 1 possession later, which would have cut the lead to 6. Instead we got predictable offense, run when 8 are in the box, pass when your QB has a 5^th grade arm, bust out some RB screens on 3^rd down that you can tell the run before they leave the huddle, I mean is it that hard to mix it up. If you as a fan knows what is coming, image the excitement that a linebacker has when he has seen it on film all week and gets paid to crush people. After 3 weeks of the NFL, it looks like I am officially ready for Ron Artest.

I am finally back on the grid, after what Hurricane Ike did to my city.  I am happy to report the family is safe, and happily back at the house enjoying the wonders of electricity.  Others are not so lucky, include some of the close families members who have almost gone a week now without power.  If you can find some way to help, anything, anyway, do it.  Times like these you appreciate the smallest things the most, and hold your family a little tighter.  The family was spared any major damage as well, a few fences, which I repaired on Monday, and a roof vent that was blown off that I stuffed with a trash bag and insulation.  All in all, it was a trying time, and a learning experience, our family network is something special to witness when in action.

Lessons Learned:

Always have a generator

Always have gas

Always have ice

Always have water

If you can leave town, do it

The destruction could have been worse, or city might have been spared in some ways since the Ike never reached full strength, something to think about for the next time.  Hope hurricane will finish up quickly without anymore formations, especially to this area.  But most important is that everyone is accounted for, and we all have each over.

I encourage everyone to go and give some blood, there is a shortage right now, and it is the easiest way to help a neighbor. 

And for all that was lost on the Galveston, hopefully it will be back and better than ever soon enough, hold strong.  We have a reader that was BOI (Born On the Island), something that means a lot to the people that are from there, wish them the best in toughest times, now and in the future.

I will come back later this week or next with something more pleasant to write about, but I wanted to use this entry to let everyone know that we are safe and sound.

Thanks for everyone that helped us, we love you all

Jaxwing

In case you were living under a rock for the past few days, Tom Brady got hurt.  The media has shown the video a billion times, so much so that it reminds me of the Zapruder film, back and to the left.  Players saying it was a dirty play, Sports blog in a fit because they lost their darling, and most importantly to the post, the fantasy world was rocked to the core.

Last week, I posted our pre season / draft results for each team in the Looze Stoolz league.  As usually I will be incorrect, and as usual I will be right on a few points.  Not to kick a man when he is down, but poor Steinbrenner, I complemented on his first successful draft in lord knows how many years, and then the rug gets pulled out 9 minutes into the first game of the season, Tom goes down, and so does there dreams.  But here is the problem with the pick, I have played Fantasy football for all of about 14 years, I like to think that I know a little, here is what you need to take from the injury - NEVER DRAFT A QUARTERBACK or RECEIVER IN THE FIRST ROUND.  It is easier to get a scrub QB to perform that to get a scrub RB to produce.  It is time tested, it sucks that it had to happen to Roca and Ash, but if not you, someone else would have taken him in the first round, but I bet Westbrook looks a lot better today than 2 weeks ago (He went immediately after Brady).  Someday when I write the best book ever on Fantasy Football, that will be my first sentence.

Other fantasy news, my team sucks, I mean I got my ass torn so bad it looked like a vagina, only backwards.  The Coin Purses were embarrassed by LLA to the tune of a 65 point defeat, I think I would have had a hard time beating just 4 of his guys.  And to add insult to injury, my ’star’ receiver just went down for 4 to 6 weeks.  My god it doesn’t get any worse right for me.  Carson Palmer looks like a complete douche bag, getting me only 3 points, 3 points, really, that’s all you can give me against the Ravens, thanks.  Tomlinson, gets hurt, nice, Torry Holt gets a dough nut, awesome, and my TE Dallas Clark went out on the first play of the game, sweet.  All in all, a complete disaster.

LLA topped Makin Bears for the first high score of the week bonus, and receives 10 bucks.  Jelly Dongs, are slowing realizing that VY is a bust, like the rest of us already knew.  Raging Willies teased about having the worse score of the week, but ultimately let me have it, danka.  The defending champs, Ass Gravy Train, lost on Monday night to the MIke Honcho Experience, thanks to Adrian Peterson’s heroics. And the Beavers open with a loss to the Jelly Dongs, truly anything can happen in Fantasy Football Week 1.

What will week 2 bring, besides me spending 40 bucks on free agents.  Time will tell.

Best of luck to everyone this weekend, and best of luck with Hurricane Ike getting ready to pounce.  Talk to you guys next week.

Hurricane Ike Turner

Jaxwing

Well we managed to do it, our annual Looze Stoolz Draft, came and went, and by all accounts, another success. Thanks to all who were a part, and I believe we drafted faster this year than any year before, so kudos for that as well. There winners (BW3’s bill statements) and losers (Chris and Aggie Fans), and so it begins, another season, rosters set, and visions of holding up the Olestra Cup in everyone’s head, but like the Highlander, there can only be one. So here are some fun predicts, and tidbits from my view point, of everyone’s roster, as always, I will not pass judgment on my roster for fear of complaints. With that said though, I am happy with my roster and hope they can live up to my expectations. Enjoy your 2008 Looze Stoolz Pre Season Review. FYI all grades will be based on the Stewie System, with the best being 5 Stewies.

Ass Gravy Train (formerly Ass Gravy Army) – The defending champs returned with cup in hand for the draft. Making an early splash in Pre Draft trades, AGT got the best of your commissioner with getting Brandon Jacobs for a 5^th round pick, which turned out to be Dallas Clark – ugh!!!!!! Returning 2 keepers, Big Ben and Santonio Holmes, AGT picked Jamal Lewis in the first round and Reggie Wayne on the turn. No complaints here, except Jamal Lewis is not the most dependable back in the league, but had a great rebound season last year. Stellar picks included, McNabb in the late rounds, Calvin Johnson poised to become a star, and Jerricho Cotchery now catching balls that can be thrown deep from Brett Favre. Questionable picks included, Jeremy Shockey just because his injury is still a problem, and Ahman Green because he is an injury anytime he crosses the out of bounds line.

Starting Lineup:

· Ben Roethisberger QB

· Brandon Jacobs RB

· Jamal Lewis RB

· Santonio Holmes WR

· Reggie Wayne WR

· Calvin Johnson FLEX

· Jeremy Shockey TE

· Adam Vinatieri K

· Jaguars DEF

A solid starting squad, and a chance to repeat, will the breaks he got last year happen again for him this year? Or when the injuries start with some of the keys spots, will he have enough on the bench. All in all a solid draft, I will give his lineup and bench:

    

Batidores Del Castor (BDC) – Sporting the some of the best keepers, Romo and Addai, Todd and BDC didn’t have to do too much in the draft to get high marks. A gift was given to him with the 7^th pick of Steven Jackson, who I think went way too low, this guy is a 1,000 / 1,000 guy, if healthy. But that is a big if, and not playing in preseason because of a new contract, is an issue, so I understand the slip in the draft. BDC rebounded last season, after a tough rookie campaign in 2006, now with the taste of the playoffs on his lips, he is ready for the next step, here are some notables from his draft. Great picks included, Owen Daniels the TE of the future in the NFL, Fred Taylor even after his arrest, and Ronald Curry the only person on the Oakland Raiders who scored last season. But it was not all rosy on the BDC draft; here were some lesser picks in my eyes. Kevin ’37 Dicks’ Smith went way too high in my eyes (3^rd round), Darren Sproles only because he looked at me said I needed to pick him up at which point I said, ‘No not yet – still too high for me…’ then he takes him about 5 seconds later, thanks for the tip Todd, and possibly Steve Slaton, just because he probably could have gotten him lower and with a better keeper value. With all of that said, BDC boost a pretty good starting lineup, take a pick:

Starting Lineup:

· Tony Homo QB

· Joseph Addai RB

· Steven Jackson RB

· Kevin Smith FLEX

· Donald Driver WR

· Larry Fitzgerald WR

· Owen Daniels TE

· Josh Brown K

· Steelers DEF

Will their destiny be achieved, to go beyond one and out in the playoffs, to taste the sweet taste of victory, to sip from the Olestra Cup, good chance, better than mine. Overall grade:

   

Little Lebowski Achievers (LLA) – Always the bridesmaid, never the bride. LLA has burst onto the fantasy football scene like Daniel Reid in his hay day, before being clouded with visions of UT, but this is the crucial year, forward means a championship, backwards means out of the playoffs, so it’s a tough haul for Brad and the other LLA members, perfection is the only option. He started his season with a Pre Draft trade, breaking up his mighty QB / WR combo of Brees and Colston, sending Colston to the Coin Purses for Brandon Marshall and what would turn out to be Tim Hightower, after a short delay we were able to find him on the CBS Website, and he is indeed a super-sleeper. So here are some other highlights and lowlights from the LLA draft night. Highlights included, Ocho Cinco the first man to legally get to utter these words in fantasy football, Darren McFadden although some believe he went too high, and Kevin Walter a late rounder that proved to be valuable to teams last year. Questionable calls, well Hightower has to be included since people weren’t aware of him and he used his traded pick for him, Larry Johnson as a first rounder is scary, and maybe Chester Taylor, although I think the pick is fine, I just needed something to end the sentence with. The draft a whole for LLA was easy, he boosted the best of the keepers in my eyes, so it left him little on the NEEDS side of things. Here is how his starting lineup looks.

Starting Lineup:

· Drew Brees QB

· Marion Barber RB

· Larry Johnson RB

· Darren McFadden RB

· Chad Ocho Cinco WR

· Hines Ward WR

· Jason Witten TE

· Mason Crosby K

· Patriots DEF

All in all, this is tough team on paper, Marion Barber is a beast, and could have easily been a top 5 pick in the draft and yet thanks to keeper status cost LLA a 13^th round pick, it boggles the mind doesn’t it. I don’t see a step back for this team, in fact I see this. Overall grade:

   

Makin’ Bears (MB) – OK, this is the man to blame for the zaniest draft ever. Point 1, he changed his keeper at the last minute, so him and I were off to a rocky start, then he goes and does the unthinkable, drafts a WR in the first round, not since the likes of old Randy Moss (Straight Cash Homie) in the purple and white has a WR receiver gone this in one of my drafts, ok so I can deal with that, TO going in the first round, fine, he is a turd and I hate most Cowboys anyway, although he is awesome fantasy wise. But then the unthinkable strikes again, for 3 weeks I had planned on taking Andre Johnson with the last pick of the 2^nd round, thinking the whole time that it was stretch to take him that earlier, well little did I know of the Makin Bears drafting strategy, which consisted of 2 WRs in the first 2 picks would be unveiled to my shock and horror. With that said, he has 2 sweet WRs, and I am jealous, but there are problems in his lineup. Highlights of the draft for MB included, DeAngelo Williams really late in the draft, Eddie Royal since that sounds like a pimp’s name, and Ben Watson I guess. Lowlights, he is going to war with Phillip Rivers and Jay Cutler as his QBs, Robert Meachem to sure why, name just stands out, and I have nothing else to type here, so if you are reading it, it is filler. Here is view into his starting lineup.

Starting Lineup:

· Phillip Rivers QB

· Thomas Jones RB

· Selvin Young RB

· Andre Johnson WR

· Terrell Owens WR

· Greg Jennings WR

· Ben Watson TE

· Jeff Reed K

· Vikings DEF

Well I was not very kind above, due to the WR picks, but overall he has a solid lineup. Overall Grade:

   

Raging Willies (RW) – Connecting remotely, Jimmy, still one of the originals with Daniel of the Looze Stoolz league, entered the draft with a couple of keepers, one of which was a kicker, so behind the eight ball is the only way to describe team. I have used words like stellar and playoffs, and even the word solid for the above teams mentioned, Jimmy will get no such kudos, but here is a list of some of his highlights and lowlights from his internet connection in Dallas. Standouts, Marshawn Lynch who I think will have an incredible season, ummm Peyton I guess, he seems good, and help with the last one guys? Lowlights, the other 13 rosters spots, well that is harsh, but I’m not sure I would have paid for this team. Anyhoo, here is his starting lineup, try not to laugh.

Starting Lineup:

· Peyton Manning QB

· Marshawn Lynch RB

· LenDale White RB

· PLAX WR

· Chris Chambers WR

· Donte Stallworth WR

· Chris Cooley TE

· Stephen Gostkowski K

· Cowboys DEF

Wow, my sides hurt from typing that lineup. Seriously did I just type at starting WR – Chris Chambers and Donte Stallworth, bad ass. Here is the overall grade:

   

Romosekshualz (RSS) – The original co-owners, Rolo and Tommy came back to show the world how 2 minds are worse than 1, yet again. After an email to tell people that Derrick Anderson was available and he was a top 5 QB, they got no takers and so they bring him back, could be good in the long run for them. Solid keepers made they draft a bit easier, here are some highlights. Best of the crop, Roy Williams and Houshmandzadeh to go along with Braylon Edwards, might be the best 3 WRs on any team. Lowlights, David Garrad, I mean if this a ball control fantasy football league hw would have went higher or more people would have wanted to draft him, instead I’m not sure he would have been draft so they could have picked any other starting QB, also on the list Tony Scheffler I think he was demoted to the bench, someone had to get them so why not the Romos, people I give you Julius Jones. Their starting lineup looks surprising well, take a gander.

Starting Lineup:

· Derek Anderson QB

· Clinton Portis RB

· Michael Turner RB

· Braylon Edwards WR

· TJ Houshmandzadeh WR

· Roy Williams WR

· Tony Gonzalez TE

· Nate Kaeding K

· Buccaneers DEF

With all of that, they are still Rolo and Tommy, aka Romoseshualz, they will find a way to screw it all up. But I have to grade on the team above, so here is the overall grade.

   

Steinbenner (HNH) – The newest 2 headed monster on the fantasy owners list, as Ashley Lehmann joined forces with the historically bad fantasy owner Warren Roca, and the results are on a wait and see basis. There were pluses (no Dan Marino drafted) but there were some minuses. But the single greatest move for the Steinbenner’s came on a drunken Sunday morning when I received a call to place Ricky Williams on his squad and drop him on the injury list, like a soothsayer, Ricky returns, impresses and earns keeper status for Steinbenner as well as for the Miami Dolphins, maybe they were behind the Ronnie Brown injury last year. Other highlights for this team included, Lee Evans who should have a bounce back year, Aaron Rodgers for just being pleasant with an A-Hole like Favre getting all the headlines this summer, and Chris Perry who I think will be a star once given the chance in Cincinnati. Lowlights, and there were a few, included, Justin Fargas, who is just holding the spot for McFadden like Chester Taylor last year, Bernard Berrian I hate this guy, Reggie Brown, who by all accounts sucks as an NFL player. But let’s look at the starting lineup.

Starting Lineup:

· Tom Brady QB

· Justin Fargas RB

· Laurence Maroney RB

· Ricky Williams RB

· Bernard Berrian WR

· Lee Evans WR

· Antonio Gates TE

· Kris Brown K

· Packers DEF

All I can say is that Ashley had a definitely impact on the Steinbenner team, this is about 40 times better than any team Warren has put to together to date. This is actually a team that might scare you at some point this season; he is no longer in BYE status, kudos guys for an average draft. Overall grade:

   

The Mike Honcho Experience (MHE) – Let me start off with this statement, we have all had emergencies come up at work and ruin our evening, I can’t imagine it happening on what you look forward to once a year, and with that, the ultimate night for you turns into reading the next morning at see what guys drafted for you, it takes the wind out of your sails I assume and makes your season a little anticlimactic. But truth be told, Ashley the proxy he right in my eyes with the MHE team, and he has nothing to feel bad about. Bring back 3 keepers, one of which was the second best player in the league last year, in Randy Moss, will only help and the draft had some highlights. Notables included, Willis McGahee who if he wasn’t picked right then would have been hard for me to pass up at the next spot, Marvin Harrison to go along with Randy Moss, and a solid handcuff move of Ray Rice for the oft injured McGahee. Lowlights to speak of, maybe Derrick Mason, I could only wish that a possession receiver like him will one day play with David Garrard and bring ultimate fantasy suck, also Javon Walker, who has now dodged 2 bullets. Here is the Mike Honcho Experience’s starting lineup.

Starting Lineup:

· Kurt Warner QB

· Maurice Jones Drew RB

· Adrian Peterson RB

· Willis McGahee RB

· Marvin Harrison WR

· Randy Moss WR

· Kellen Winslow TE

· Robbie Gould K

· Bears DEF

A fantastic lineup for a guy who could not attend the draft, kudos to CG for picking Ashley as a proxy for him, thanks for Ashley for pulling double duty on Tuesday night, a hell of an introduction into the Looze Stoolz league. Also kudos for CG for having the best team name in the league this year. Overall grade:

   

Vibrating Jelly Dongs (VJD) – Daniel, the elder statesman, some have questioned his ownership skills, people wondering out loud at the draft if ever, indeed won a title in the Looze Stoolz league, and I can valid date the statement with an emphatic YES, as well as making the playoffs another year, so what did the old crafty veteran have in store for us this year. 3 Black QBs for starters, yes the rare trifecta of Vince Young, Jason Campbell, and JaMarcus Russell, the fun part about this, I would like to see their combined stats at the end of this year and see how many QBs throw for more yards than these 3. But with that said, there were some strong parts about his draft, like Rashard Mendenhall late to handcuff with Willie Parker and possibly be a strong keeper next year, Dwayne Bowe who had a solid rookie season for KC last year, and the back of the future in Tennessee – Chris Johnson. Some moves that make people question his involvement in this league, Todd Heap, who does not have a QB on his team, Jamaal Charles, UT love – Catch iT!, and either or all of the 3 black QBs mentioned previously. Here is the starting lineup for the mighty VJDs.

Starting Lineup:

· Vince Young QB

· Willie Parker RB

· Brian Westbrook RB

· Earnest Graham RB

· Anquan Boldin WR

· Wes Welker WR

· Todd Heap TE

· Nick Folk K

· Colts DEF

I definitely think Reid and VJD are back, this is a solid lineup with a chance to make some noise if they get a QB. But right now, no one is probably scared of this team, with that, here is his overall grade. Overall Grade:

   

Guys thanks again for being a part of this league, this is has and will continue to be a great league, I’m glad to have started it and heading into our 7^th season, as the excitement builds for tonight. We actually have a waiting list for people that want to be in our league, and that is pretty smooth. If only I could find a way to charge you suckers. Later guys - EB

 

To my regular readers, you have been invaded by the power of the Looze Stoolz Fantasy Football League

Jaxwing