I have received word of the passing of a good friend. A great friend, a great man, and someone who you wanted next to you in any situation. Death comes to us in 3 forms, slowly aging ( the kind we all wish for), disease/sickness (the kind never want ), and sudden/ tragic / accidental death, this is how I lost my friend, and this is the hardest to wrap your thoughts around, difficult to deal with, and ultimately unbelievably painful for everyone involved, especially family and loved ones.
I received the word late last night, tried not to take those thoughts to bed, but found that impossible, and laid awake for the better part of the evening wondering about ‘what ifs’, ‘how this could of happened’, and ‘What must his parents be feeling’. I did not complain as my son wondered into my room last night at 1 in the morning, I simply let him lay next to us, kissed him more than he wanted, held him a little tighter, and finally thought my way into sleep, but it was merely for my body to rest, my brain remained awake, and the sleep was not sound.
I will most assuredly be attending a funeral this weekend, and I worry about what to say. ‘I’m sorry, he was a great man’ is not going to help his parents. Avoidance seems juvenile, silence seems to be the best approach, but it has never been my strong suit. The wave of emotions, seeing all the people that loved and cared for him, hopefully will be helping during this time for his family, it will never be enough, but nothing will.
I am not a religious man, anyone who knows me has seen this in action, but today I do wish for something more for him, I wish for him to go beyond, I wish for him a better place, he was too great not too. I wish for comfort for my friends, for those closest to him, and for those who simply knew him.
"Say not in grief ‘he is no more’ but live in thankfulness that he was"
‘What the caterpillar perceives is the end, to the butterfly is just the beginning’
‘Sometimes, when one person is absent, the whole world seems depopulated’
‘Just as despair can come to one only from other human beings, hope, too, can be given to one only by other human beings.’
Ashley you will be missed
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